Cody and the Mysteries of the Universe Read online

  “None of your business!”

  “I knew it. That no-good, rotten P.U.”

  Wyatt stuck his head under his pillow. He needed somebody to rub tender circles on his back, like Mom did when they were sad. Cody knew this, but Wyatt didn’t. Sometimes even geniuses get confused. He pointed at the door. Adiós!

  Cody trudged out. A dribble of drool still clung to her chin. She wiped it off and examined it. But no matter how she looked, no swarms of bacteria, viruses, or fungi were visible. Not to her naked eye.

  It made a person wonder. What other invisible stuff was out there?

  No matter how much Big Ralph’s she used, Cody’s hand itched like a flea-bit dog. Wyatt the Miserable said yellow-jacket poison was seeping through her blood. Does that sound like a helpful remark?

  The night before school started, Mom came home from work and told Cody to have a seat on the couch. Cody made happy toes. Mom had picked out four pairs of new school shoes, and she got to choose two.

  “The camouflage high-tops are cute and practical,” Mom said. “But how about these Mary Janes? Notice the detailing on the buckles.”

  In the end, Cody picked the sparkly purple boots and the polka-dot sneakers.

  “You sure those boots don’t pinch?” said Mom.

  “They’re perfecto!”

  “Oh, madam,” said Mom, “if only all my customers possessed your exquisite taste and manners!”

  After supper, Cody and Mom strolled over to GG’s house. It wasn’t dark yet, but the streetlights came on as if they couldn’t wait to do their job. The evening air was warm on top but chilly on the bottom. Cody’s head was still in summer, but her feet were already in autumn.

  GG’s windows shone bright and cheerful. The Meen windows were dark. And what was this? The skull-and-crossbones sign was gone. In its place was a WELCOME HOME sign. The Os were cute little hearts.

  Cody studied the sign with eyes of admiration. Who had made it? And welcome home who?

  She gave her flea-bit hand a thoughtful scratch. The mystery deepened.

  GG’s house was always cozy. Now that three extra people lived there, it was cozy to the max. Boxes filled the hallway. MewMew, Queen of Box Mountain, perched on top. Lucky duck Spencer got to sleep on the couch in a sleeping bag, like camping out every night.

  He was getting ready to practice his violin. Mom and Cody sat down to listen. The song he played was called “Go Tell Aunt Rhody.” The music was complicated. Was it sad? Was it happy? Could it be both at the same time? Cody decided it was perfect night-before-school music. All the while he played, her hand un-itched.

  When he took a bow, she and Mom clapped their heads off. Mom gave him a kiss, then squeezed her way down the hall to the kitchen, where the grown-ups were.

  “I could feel that music inside me,” Cody told Spencer. “It seeped right through me, like yellow-jacket poison, only nice.”

  Up till now, Cody’s favorite instrument had been drums, but people are allowed to change their minds. If only Spencer would let her try his violin! But he was already putting it away. Carefully. First he wiped it with a special cloth. Then he fit it into the red-velvet-lined case. He unscrewed the bow. Snap snap, zip zip.

  At last he looked at Cody.

  “School called today.” His voice was the size of a mosquito egg. “I got the Spindle.”

  Oh, no. Quiet, sensitive Spencer. He’d be no match for Mrs. Spindle. He was going to need Cody’s help more than ever. Starting right now.

  “Let’s not waste our last drop of vacation,” she said. “Let’s just forget about school.”

  “That’s impossible.”

  “I don’t mean really forget. I mean . . . oh, never mind! Let’s practice our spying on the grown-ups.”

  Down the hall they crept, past the boxes, and a slumpy pile of winter coats, and Mr. Pickett’s golf clubs. MewMew came, too. Here is a tip: to learn how to be an excellent spy, just observe a cat.

  In the kitchen, the grown-ups sat at the table talking.

  “Our own start-up,” Mr. Pickett was telling Mom.

  “It won’t be easy,” Mrs. Pickett said.

  “In this economic climate,” Mr. Pickett said.

  “My parents are starting a new business,” Spencer whispered to Cody. “Their old one fizzled.”

  “It’ll work out,” GG said. “Just remember. Patience is a virtue.”

  Mrs. Pickett had irresistible curls to match Spencer’s. She tossed her head and laughed.

  “Mother,” she said, “if I had a dollar for every time you told me that, I’d be a millionaire!”

  That cracked Cody up.

  Which made her topple sideways.

  Ditto the bag of golf clubs.

  Thus ended their spy mission.

  Just before bed, Dad called from the road. Cody told him about her new shoes, and how she might become a famous violinist who wore a long dress and bowed while people threw roses. Dad was such a good listener. Mom said he could listen till the cows came home, which meant forever, since zero cows lived here.

  “Hey!” Cody suddenly realized something. “My hand doesn’t itch anymore!”

  “That’s good.”

  “Only, Dad? Where’d the poison go?”

  “Vanished into thin air, I guess.”

  Cody squinted at the air in front of her. “The world has a lot of invisible stuff floating around,” she said.

  “It’s true. Like this.” He was quiet for a second. “Feel it?”

  “What?”

  “The invisible hug I’m giving you. Feel it?”

  She did. She did.

  Even kids who hate school love the first day. On the playground, everyone ran around, calling hello, giving hugs and fist bumps. Cody’s friend Pearl raced over, her black hair flying. Pearl was a friend to all, but especially to Cody.

  “Is this Spencer?” Pearl asked, out of breath.

  “Hello to you, too,” said Cody. “Yes, this is Spencer. Spencer, this is Pearl.”

  “He’s so cute!” Pearl’s voice did a squeal.

  “He got the Spindle.”

  “Oh.” Pearl put her hand over her heart. “I’m sorry.”

  Spencer dug his fists into his cheeks. This was not a fun thing to watch.

  “I have an idea,” Cody said. “I’ll introduce you! I’ll explain all about you, and then she’ll have to be nice to you.”

  Maybe.

  “Good luck!” called Pearl.

  Inside, the school was first-day clean. Instead of melted crayons and alien lunch meat, it smelled like lemons and new books. Not a single sticky spot on the floor. Mrs. Spindle’s room was down the end of the hall. Nick-nick-nick (Cody’s new purple boots). Drag-drag-drag (Spencer’s new brown shoes).

  Mrs. Spindle stood by her desk holding a fistful of poison arrows. Or possibly sharp pencils. When she saw Cody, her face got a look of this-must-be-a-bad-dream.

  “Wrong room, Cody! I promoted you, in spite of everything.”

  “I came to introduce my best friend, Spencer.”

  “Ah, Spencer.” Mrs. Spindle set down the poison arrows and shook his hand. “Welcome.”

  “He’s really smart,” Cody said. “He takes forever to make up his mind, but it’s worth it.”

  “I bet he can speak for himself,” said Mrs. Spindle.

  “He’s not big in the talking department. But . . .”

  “Thank you, Cody.” Mrs. Spindle gave one of her famous firm nods. “You may go now.”

  “One more thing . . .”

  But before she knew it, Cody was out in the hallway. Spencer was alone, in the clutches of the Spindle.

  At recess, Cody couldn’t find him. He’d gotten punished already? Even for the Spindle, this was going too far!

  The rule was no coming inside unless you required stitches or had to go really, really bad. Cody jumped up and down and did some groaning till at last the recess lady said, “Oh, fine.”

  Cody tiptoed down the hallway. Her spying ski
ll was definitely coming in handy. Peeking around the door, she saw Mrs. Spindle and Spencer snipping shapes from construction paper. Both had their feet crossed at the ankle, and what do you know? Mrs. Spindle’s brown shoes were the lady version of Spencer’s. Both of them liked the kind of plain, sensible shoes that made Mom shake her head and sigh.

  Music was playing. Violin-y music.

  A person who didn’t know better would take this for a cozy, contented scene. Instead of jail.

  “Whatever he did, he didn’t mean it!” Cody marched to the front of the room. “Spencer never breaks rules on purpose! Keeping him in isn’t fair!”

  Spencer and Mrs. Spindle made twin faces of surprise. Mrs. Spindle set down her scissors.

  “Cody, did you forget all those conversations we had about Thinking Before Speaking?”

  Why did people keep asking if she forgot something? In the silence, violin music skipped all around the room.

  “Cody?” said Mrs. Spindle.

  “I am thinking before I speak.”

  “Good.” Mrs. Spindle stood up. If she was a candy, she would be sugar-free. “Spencer’s not in trouble. He and I are just getting to know each other. But you are right.”

  Cody jiggled her finger in her ear.

  “Run along, dear,” Mrs. Spindle told Spencer. “Fresh air is tonic for both mind and body.”

  “Dear?” said Cody when they were outside. “She calls you dear?”

  “Mozart is her favorite, just like me.”

  Before Cody could say Who-zart?, Pearl ran up to them. Pearl was famous for origami, and now she handed Spencer an origami Yoda.

  “I made it just for you. For a welcome present.”

  “Thanks,” said Spencer.

  Cody wiggled her eyebrows in a hello-did-you-forget-to-make-me-an-origami way, but somehow Pearl didn’t notice.

  After school, Mrs. Pickett walked them home. Till their new business got off the ground, she was going to watch Cody in the afternoons.

  “How was your day?” she asked Spencer.

  “He has the school’s strictest teacher,” Cody explained. “She’s a legend in her time.”

  Mrs. Pickett’s mouth did a twitch.

  “But don’t worry,” Cody went on. “I introduced him, and then I rescued him. I’ll stick to him like glue!”

  “Thank you, Cody. That’s very thoughtful of you,” said Mrs. Pickett. “But let’s not forget something.”

  Now what?

  “Spencer needs to learn to take care of himself. That’s one of his goals in his new school. Right, Spence?”

  Spencer was still thinking this over when they got to GG’s. A bush covered with pink, foamy flowers grew near the front steps. The bubble-bath bush, Cody called it. She gave it a tender pat, the way she always did, but today something caught her eye. Something shiny and pointy, poking out from underneath. Bending down, Cody pulled out a sword.

  “Look at this!” She showed Spencer. “A pirate sword!”

  “It’s not real,” he said.

  “Probably it’s a training sword, for beginner pirates.”

  “Better put it back,” he said. “It might be someone’s precious possession.”

  Finders keepers, losers weepers, said one side of Cody’s brain. Think how you’d feel i f someone stole your precious possession, said the other side. The two sides had a little boxing match — bop! pow! thunk!

  Spencer stood there waiting. Cody sighed and slid the sword back under the bubble-bath bush. That boy had patience to spare. He could open a Patience Store and sell his extra patience.

  “There’s two more new kids!” Spencer said the next day at recess.

  “That’s nice,” said Cody.

  “No, it’s not! One ate my eraser.” He held up a pencil with a bald head. Then he pointed across the playground. “There they are!”

  The girls had hair the color of a wildfire. One was a little bigger than Cody, and the other was a little smaller than Spencer. He ducked behind Cody, as if the eraser eater might take a bite of him.

  “I told her rubber is bad for you,” he said. “But she says she has a rare kind of stomach.”

  “Everybody out of our way!” the big girl said. “Unless you want a knuckle sandwich!”

  She scrambled to the top of the climber, then reached down to help the little one up too. They folded their arms. They turned their heads from side to side, like masters of all they surveyed.

  Cody had never seen anything like it.

  Pearl came over and peeked behind Cody.

  “Hello,” she said, waving at Spencer. “Yoo-hoo back there!”

  “Hello to you too, Pearl,” said Cody.

  “Look Spence.” Pearl reached around her. “I made you an origami allosaurus.”

  Up on the climber, the big girl grabbed the little one’s hand. They stood up. One, two, three — they leaped off the tip-top! Spencer threw his hands over his eyes.

  “That is so dangerous,” he said. “That is extremely against the rules!”

  “I know!” said Cody. Secretly, she’d always wanted to do it.

  “They’re just showing off,” said Pearl. Someday she was going to make an excellent grown-up. “The best thing is to ignore them.”

  “What if she eats something else?” Spencer peeked through his fingers. “What if she eats my new crayons?”

  “I’m pretty sure she’d puke all over the place,” said Pearl.

  Spencer moaned and hid behind his hands again.

  After school, Cody and Spencer sat on GG’s porch swing, with MewMew in between them. MewMew was special for many reasons, including the way her fur made her initial, M, above her eyes. This was her secret purring spot. When Cody rubbed it, MewMew revved up like a furry blender.

  Swing, swing, swing. Purr, purr, purr. Spencer preferred his swinging slow and steady. So did MewMew. After a long hard day at school, even Cody did. She slid off her sparkly purple boots, which, to tell the truth, were a little pinchy. She wiggled her toes. She’d said it before and she’d say it again. If you wanted peaceful and cozy, come to GG’s.

  “Cowabunga!”

  The Meen door swung open. Cody could not believe her own naked eyes. Out came Eraser Eater and her little sister.

  “What are you doing here?” E.E. demanded.

  “He lives here,” Cody said. “And I’m getting kidsitted. What are you doing here?”

  “Allow me to introduce ourselves. I am Molly Meen. And this is my trusty sidekick, Maxie Meen.”

  “You mean . . . ?” Spencer swallowed hard. “You mean you live next door to me?”

  “That’s what I mean, all right.”

  “But I don’t get it,” said Cody. “Where have you been?”

  “I thought you’d never ask. I, Molly Meen, was at assassin school. And Maxie was at an international spy conference. Speak to them in Norwegian, Maxie.”

  “Blecca malecca!” said Maxie.

  Spencer adjusted his glasses. He shook his round head. But Cody attempted a smile of friendship.

  “Welcome back,” she said. “By the way, I still have your father’s jar of Big Ralph’s meat tenderizer. I’ll bring it back tomorrow.”

  Big Ralph’s did not interest Molly Meen. She folded her arms and tapped her foot.

  “From now on, this porch is off-limits for you,” she said.

  “That’s not fair,” Cody said. “This porch is half Spencer’s.”

  “Not anymore! And you better not go in the backyard, either, if you know what’s good for you. Tell them in Siberian, Maxie.”

  “Ooshka neva so!”

  “Our father is an exterminator,” said Molly. “Do you feel like getting exterminated?”

  “This is against the law!” Cody said. “It’s not fair!”

  “All’s fair in love and war!”

  Molly grabbed her little sister, and they disappeared inside.

  Spencer and Cody stared at each other.

  They were not in love with the Meens, that was
for sure.

  So it must be war.

  Over the next few days, GG’s house got cozier by the minute.

  Mr. and Mrs. Pickett set up their business office in the dining room. They moved in computers, printers, telephones, folders, binders, and charts. Next to GG’s Jackson Five poster, they hung one that said, “If you really want something, you will make it happen. If you don’t, you will make excuses.”

  Anytime you opened a closet, something interesting fell out. GG’s teacher stuff got all mixed up with Spencer’s kid stuff. Sometimes when she did her tai chi, GG accidentally stomped a Hot Wheels. Sometimes when Spencer climbed into his sleeping bag, he found MewMew curled up inside.

  Another thing that made the house cozy, or possibly a tiny bit crowded, was that Cody and Spencer stayed indoors. All the time. No matter what.

  Meanwhile, the Meens roller-skated from one side of the porch to the other, waving their pirate swords. They worked on a huge hole in the backyard. Every now and then, they peered in the window where Spencer and Cody watched. They crossed their eyes and wiggled their fingers in their ears.

  “Why are you inside?” GG asked them. “It’s a bee-yoo-tiful afternoon! Why don’t you go play with the girls next door? They look like they could use some friends.”

  Spencer and Cody traded looks. If they told GG that eraser-eating, sword-waving pirates had declared war on them, she’d say, Oh, for heaven’s sake, just go make friends! Because grown-ups, even smart ones like GG, can forget that making friends isn’t always easy. Which was a big thing to forget, in Cody’s opinion.

  “We can’t go out there,” Cody said.

  “Why on earth not?” GG said.

  “Because . . .” Cody scrounged her brain. “Because Spencer is giving me a violin lesson!”

  Spencer looked like he just swallowed something sharp and pointy. But he nodded and took out his violin.

  “You have to be careful,” he told Cody.

  “I know that very well,” she said.

  “Don’t forget.”

  “Grr.”

  Spencer explained how to hold the violin under your chin and crook your elbow in a way that gave you arm kinks after two seconds. He rubbed the bow with the special golden resin. He demonstrated how to draw it across the strings. Just when Cody thought he would never stop explaining, he did.