Cody and the Mysteries of the Universe Page 4

  “She’s going to walk you up to the stage?” That was so silly, it cracked Cody up.

  “She’s going to play the piano with me.” Spencer sounded happy. He sounded as happy as a boy who had just won a lifetime supply of candy and whose parents had never heard the words tooth decay. “It’s called a duet.”

  “I know that!” said Cody. Well, now she did.

  “We’ll need to practice. I’ll have to go over to her house.”

  “I can come with you,” said Cody. “To make sure you don’t get lost on the way.”

  “Cool. You can be our audience.”

  “Yeah. Cool.”

  Everyone knows being the audience is not as cool as being the one people clap for.

  Cody went outside to visit the ants. She lay on her tummy. The ground was chilly. Winter was coming, and soon the ants would go inside their colony and not come out again till spring. What did they do down there all those months? Did they ever get the whim-whams? Did they do ant tai chi? In that fable, the grasshopper played a violin, but not the ants. Whatever they did for entertainment, Cody was sure they clapped for one another. That’s how ants were.

  She crumbled up some crackers for their supper. They got straight to work, dragging crumbs. Mrs. Spindle would approve of how hard the ants worked, Cody thought. The ants were in favor of the same things as the Spindle was — no messing around, lots of cooperation.

  All at once, Cody sat up. Maybe Mrs. Spindle wasn’t actually nicer this year. Maybe . . . maybe she just liked Spencer. Maybe she liked him better than she did Cody!

  Cody wrapped her arms around her knees. The ground beneath her felt really cold now. The problem with thinking was that sometimes your brain went places you did not want to follow.

  An ant skedaddled across YOU ARE. Cody rested her chin on her knees. Well, she thought. Well, she liked Spencer, too. So she and Mrs. Spindle had something in common. You could even say they were a little bit alike.

  Whoa. Who knew her brain was going to go there?

  “Cody Louise!” Mom called from the house. “It’s time for supper!”

  Cody stood up carefully. She didn’t want to jostle her brain, which suddenly seemed like a precious possession.

  A few days later, Cody’s brain took her someplace else. Only this time, that place was called Trouble.

  After school, Spencer went to Pearl’s house to practice their duet, and guess who was not invited? Guess who wound up sitting all by herself in GG’s living room, surrounded by Spencer stuff but no Spencer?

  “They’ll be practicing,” said Mrs. Pickett. “It wouldn’t be much fun for you.”

  A sticky note was stuck to Mrs. Pickett’s elbow. She looked like she’d forgotten about a thing called brushing your hair. She and Mr. Pickett were almost ready to launch, which sounded like they had a boat or a rocket ship, but no. Their business, that’s what they were launching.

  “You just make yourself at home, sugar. He’ll be home before you know it.” Mrs. Pickett hurried back to the dining room/office.

  Cody and MewMew waited by the window. For MewMew, waiting equaled sleeping, but for Cody, waiting equaled torture. Outside, the afternoon sun shone bright. Come out, come out, called the day.

  No sign of a Meen.

  Cody opened the front door and tiptoed over to the swing. Just as she sat down, a car pulled up to the curb. Molly, Maxie, and a woman climbed out. Cody slid down and spied through the porch railing.

  The woman’s hair had a pretty purple streak, and her arms were covered with beautiful tattoos. She pulled Molly and Maxie close. What do you know! Those Meens were expert huggers. But when Tattoo Woman tried to go, Maxie wouldn’t let her.

  “Not yet, Mommy!” Maxie attached herself like a bear cub on a tree. “We didn’t do One Last Time.”

  So they did more hugging, then some tickling. Maxie still wouldn’t let go. Hiding on the porch, Cody’s eyes prickled. Saying good-bye to your parent was always so hard. Even when you were as big as Cody, it was hard. Just think how Maxie felt.

  As their mother climbed into the car, Maxie looked ready to cry. But quick quick, Molly boosted her little sister onto her back. She piggybacked Maxie around in circles. Instead of crying, Maxie started giggling.

  Aw. That was so nice. It was exactly the kind of thing good old Wyatt would do to cheer her up. Cody jumped to her feet.

  “I love your mother’s tattoos!” she called. “Is she a tattoo artist? Do you guys have tattoos, too?”

  Molly spun around. So much for her smile.

  “You spied on us!” she yelled.

  Asleep on the job, that was Cody’s brain. How could it forget these were her mortal enemies?

  Molly was no forgetter. She was a champion rememberer.

  “Plus you’re trespassing on our territory! That is a double violation!”

  Before she knew what she was doing, Cody threw her arms over her head.

  “Can you do this?” she said. “It’s called Gazing at the Moon.”

  What in the world? said Molly’s face. But Maxie tried it.

  “Very good!” said Cody. “Now try this one. It’s called Rowing the Boat in the Middle of the Lake.”

  Mr. Meen stepped out onto the porch.

  “What’s going on out here, a dance party?” he cried. “Why wasn’t I invited?”

  Suddenly he frowned. He lifted his boot and smashed it back down.

  “Dang spiders,” he said.

  Molly climbed the steps. She pointed at the squished spider. Then at Cody. Then back at the spider.

  Cody lifted her chin. She tried for a smile that said, Ha! You think you scare me? Think again!

  But the best she could manage was fake cheeriness, like someone on a hand sanitizer commercial.

  You might think that after so much trouble, tomorrow would be a better day, but sorry. You would be wrong.

  Right after morning meeting, Cody’s teacher said to clear desks for the spelling test. She couldn’t believe her ears. Test? Today?

  One of the words was alligator. That was a hard one, even if you remembered to study. How many l’s? Was it e or o? She drew a cute little alligator, to make up for getting it wrong.

  After that, gym. Cody was wearing her YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE sneakers, like every day since Dad left. But when she tried to double-knot them, the MY SUNSHINE lace broke.

  And when she ran, the shoe’s tongue flapped.

  And when she tripped and bumped heads with Dimitri, whoa. Who knew skulls were that hard?

  The gym teacher sent them to the nurse. The nurse made them hold ice packs till they got brain freeze. It was Pizza Day, but by the time Cody and Dimitri got to the lunch room, the pizza was cold. Cody had ordered two slices of pepperoni, but only plain was left.

  The lunch lady felt bad and gave them double chocolate milks.

  Something nice to know: even lunch ladies have soft spots.

  Spencer and Pearl were sitting together. Down at the end of the table, Molly was sitting by herself. She looked tired. She gave a big yawn. No gold teeth.

  “What are you looking at?” she said to Cody.

  “Nothing!”

  “I was up late watching The Revenge of Bog Man.”

  “You were?” Cody had begged her head off to watch that movie, but Mom said absolutely not. “Was Bog Man all oozy? Did he leave a trail of repulsive green slime?”

  “Oh, yeah! But the coolest part was when he . . .” Molly stopped. Her eyes turned to slits. “Hey. You’re not trying to be my friend, are you?”

  “No! No way!”

  “Good.” Molly got busy tearing her pizza crust into smithereens.

  Cody sat down with Spencer and Pearl. Pearl stuck a piece of crust on her nose.

  “Guess what I am,” she said.

  “Pinocchio,” Cody said.

  “No,” Pearl said.

  “A narwhal,” Spencer said. “Which is the unicorn of the sea.”

  “Right!” Pearl said.

  Cody sigh
ed. She opened both milks at once and put the straws in.

  “Dimitri cracked my brain,” she said. “In case anybody cares.”

  She took a slurp of chocolate milk times two. Down at the end of the table, Molly gave her the skunk eye. Cody shifted on her seat. Across the table, Spencer and Pearl blabbed about the orchestra. Cody shifted some more. And then somehow her bungie slipped off the back. Cody grabbed for the table but, whoa! She was on her way down. The milk cartons were on their way up. They somersaulted through the air.

  When Cody got back on her feet, Spencer and Pearl were flapping their arms and squawking. They had chocolate milk all over them.

  Not only them. The table. And the wall. And the floor.

  It was like a TV crime scene, only with chocolate milk instead of blood.

  Cody got napkins. She said sorry sorry sorry. But a laugh tickled her insides. Not laughing is extremely hard, as hard as not crying. Cody tried to keep that laugh inside, but it’s possible a tiny bit leaked out.

  “I do not find this situation funny,” said Pearl.

  But someone else did. Down at the end of the table, that someone gave Cody the thumbs-up. Which from a normal person would be a good thing, but who knew what it meant coming from Molly Meen?

  That night, Mom brought home new shoelaces. She pulled out the old broken ones and threaded in a deluxe, sparkly pair. She slipped the sneakers onto Cody’s feet and tied professional bows.

  “These shoes are too small. You’ve got no room in the toe box.” Mom smiled. “But they’re stunning on you, madam.”

  The shoes were perfect now. Part old, part new. Part Dad, part Mom. Cody curled up her toes to stop them from growing any more.

  “Those shoes remind me of that song, ‘Make new friends, but keep the old,’” said Mom.

  She and Cody sang it together. A duet!

  Cody ran upstairs to show Wyatt. He drooped across his bed. If he was a sandwich, he’d be a tuna melt. The phone was to his ear. One look and Cody knew who he was talking to. That old P.U.! Cody flopped on the bed beside him.

  “Tell her unless she’s nice to you, you won’t be nice to her,” she said.

  “What?” Payton piped up on the other end. “What did you say?”

  “Nothing!” Wyatt tried to get Cody in his famous Houdini headlock, but she wriggled away.

  “Tell her all’s not really fair in love and war,” said Cody.

  “What?” said Phone Payton.

  “Go away!” said Wyatt.

  “WHAT?” cried P.P.

  “Not you!” he said.

  Payton’s voice got squeaky, like a hamster wheel in the middle of the night. Wyatt had to hold the phone away from his ear. Squeak squeak, went Payton. It sounded so funny, Cody wanted to laugh. Remember how hard it is to keep a laugh inside?

  A corner of Wyatt’s mouth went up. He pulled it down but boing! It curved right back up.

  “What’s so funny?” squeaked Payton.

  “You. No! I mean — I mean — I gotta go, Payton.”

  “I’m not done talking!”

  “Bye.”

  He clicked off.

  Silencio.

  Cody stopped laughing. She prepared for the Wrath of Wyatt. Her brother set the phone down. And then he heaved a sigh. A big sigh, like instead of a cell phone, he set down something that weighed a gazillion tons.

  “You deserve to suffer a long and painful death,” he told her.

  Instead, he just put her in the headlock. Cody thought she heard him say, “Gracias, amiga.” But it was hard to tell for sure, with her ears squished like that.

  Spencer and Pearl were practicing their duet again. They practiced so much, you’d think they were going to perform in the Super Bowl, instead of the school all-purpose room.

  Cody kept busy helping Mr. and Mrs. Pickett. She learned which corner of the envelope the stamp goes on. Also how to fold a letter exactly into thirds. Which was as hard as origami, she bet.

  “What a patient girl you are!” said Mrs. Pickett.

  There is a difference between being patient and having no choice. But a wise voice inside Cody said, Do not point this out.

  That night, she decided to pay Spencer a quick quick visit before supper. For once, the Meen side of the house was lit up, and GG’s side was dark. Cody stood at the bottom of the front steps, wondering where they could be. Her heart jumped when a small voice spoke from the shadows.

  “They’re gone.”

  Maxie! She was sitting on GG’s swing, eating a doughnut. It was Cody’s favorite kind, with that chocolate icing you can pick off in pieces. Maxie had fake tattoos all over her arms. She wore her father’s big exterminator boots with the steel tips.

  But the biggest surprise of all was she had MewMew in her lap.

  “Where did they go?” Cody asked.

  “Out to eat. I heard them saying, ‘Chinese or Mexican?’”

  Cody knew it was her duty to make Maxie hand over MewMew. Because who could trust a Meen? She might yank MewMew’s tail at any moment!

  But in this life, there are many surprises, and sometimes you surprise your own self. Cody sat down on the swing. She rubbed MewMew’s secret spot. That cat purred like a miniature lawn mower. She purred so loud, Maxie laughed. And then, what do you know? Cody petted Maxie’s little head instead of MewMew’s.

  “I like your tattoos,” Cody said.

  Maxie broke off a piece of doughnut and shared it with Cody.

  Most of the chocolate icing fell onto the floor.

  It was not exactly the baton of love.

  But it was still nice.

  “I like listening to his guitar,” Maxie said.

  “It’s a violin. But me, too.”

  Swing, swing. They finished the doughnut. Swing, swing. They listened to the slow, end-of-summer cricket song. Swing, swing.

  Until the Meen door flew open and Molly catapulted onto the porch.

  “Maxie, what are you doing? Did she brainwash you? Get away from her this second!”

  Slowly Maxie got up. She handed MewMew to Cody. She slid her thumb, which was smaller than a baby carrot, into her mouth. Shuffle, shuffle. She crossed the porch in her father’s boots.

  “That’s better,” said Molly.

  But no. It was not. It was not better at all. Inside Cody, something went snap. Something went, That is enough! She set MewMew down. She drew a deep breath and stood up.

  “It’s not better! It’s way worse.” She puffed out her chest. “I’ve had enough of this war. It’s stupid! I’m sick of it!”

  Molly opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

  For about one second.

  “What did you call us?”

  “Not you! The war!”

  “You called us stupid! We heard it with our own ears! Right, Maxie?”

  Molly’s hair flamed like a forest fire. Her eyes shot sparks. Cody went wobbly kneed. But she set her new-old, Mom-Dad shoes wide apart.

  “Take it back!” said Molly. “Or else!”

  “Or else what?”

  “Or else . . . or else . . . Wait a minute.”

  Molly and Maxie held a conference. Meaning Molly did all the talking and Maxie nodded. At last Molly spun around.

  “You’re sick of this war, right?” she said.

  “Right.” Hopefulness bubbled up inside Cody.

  “Then let’s end it.”

  “Okay!”

  “We’ll have a fight to the finish!”

  “Wait.”

  “Tomorrow!”

  “Wait.”

  “Tomorrow, after school, it’s showdown time for you and your scaredy-cat friend.”

  The door banged shut behind them.

  Cody couldn’t believe it. What had she gotten them into? How was she going to tell Spencer he was in a fight to the finish?

  This was a disaster. A disaster times ten.

  “Mew?” MewMew rubbed against her legs. This was cat for “What’s wrong with you humans? Where did that little kid
go? The one who was petting me so nicely and dropping delicious doughnut crumbs all over?”

  Cody went down the porch stairs very slowly. At the bottom, she noticed something lying under the bubble-bath bush. Maxie’s sneakers. One had a broken shoelace. Twang went Cody’s heart.

  She sat down on the bottom step. In this life, humans are the only ones who can really talk. But sometimes it feels like other things can, too. Ants. Cats. Shoes.

  Cody found a crayon in her pocket. She picked up the sneakers and got to work.

  That night, Cody lay in bed listening to the tap-tap-tap of the rain on her window. In the daytime, that was a comfy sound. But at night, it was so lonesome.

  Cody took Gremlin down the hall. Gremlin used to be Wyatt’s, but now he was hers. Her brother was awake, too. This was a surprise, considering what a world-class sleeper he was. He lay with his arms under his head. Cody curled up next to him.

  “Why aren’t you asleep?” she said.

  “Why aren’t you?”

  “It’s complicated,” she said.

  “Tell me about it.”

  Tap-tap-tap went the rain. It didn’t sound lonesome here in Wyatt’s room.

  “Wyatt?”

  “Hmm.”

  “Everybody says fighting is bad.” She hugged Gremlin tight. “But what if you can’t help it?”

  “Hmm.” He rubbed his chin, just the way Dad did. “Sometimes you really can’t help it. Like me and Payton. Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself, or else you’re giving in. You’re letting the bad stuff win.”

  “That’s what I was thinking.” She hugged Gremlin tighter.

  “But you know what?” said Wyatt-Dad. “In the end, fighting doesn’t solve anything. Because unless you work things out, somebody’s stuck with bad feelings. The mean, rotten stuff doesn’t really go away.”

  “Where does it go?”

  Wyatt pooched his lips. “Good question,” he said.

  “Maybe it gets passed on. Like the baton of love. Only the opposite.”

  “This is getting scary. That almost made sense to me.”

  They lay there listening to the rain on the roof. Cody asked Wyatt if he’d like to have Gremlin back for tonight. But Wyatt said he was good.